


Things Are Shaping Up to Be Pretty Odd

by frnkensteingrl (Themikaylanicole)



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Established Relationship, Humor, M/M, Oral Sex, Public Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-05
Updated: 2016-04-05
Packaged: 2018-05-31 08:38:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6463345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Themikaylanicole/pseuds/frnkensteingrl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brendon tells the guys about the time he and Ryan got banned from Wal-Mart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Things Are Shaping Up to Be Pretty Odd

"Ryan. Ryan ... Ryan!" I said as I tried to shake my sleeping boyfriend. Ryan was like a comatose patient when he slept. Once he was out, he was dead to the world. Well tough shit because we still had a ton of things to do to get ready for our camping trip. At first glance, you’d think we were totally clueless about camping – what with the skinny jeans, fringes and our love of accessories. You’d also be completely right. We just needed a little weekend getaway with the boys to clear our heads before we began working on this next record. Ryan started stirring under the covers. I lightly shook him again.

"Brendon ... stop shaking me." Ryan mumbled. He tried to cover his face with our blanket. 

"Ryan, we have to go pick up more stuff. I told Jon and Spence that we would pick up the tent first thing today, and that’s kind of the most important thing. Once we get that, you can come back and go to sleep."

"No. We sleep now, get stuff later," Ryan turned and snuggled into my side, pressing his face into my neck. I could feel light little breaths against my neck and he wrapped his arms around my waist. I put my arms around him and ran my fingers up and down his arm. As tempting as it was to stay in this bed with him all day, we really did have to get up. I swung my leg over his hip and straddled him, pinning his shoulders down with my hands. His eyes were wide as his head shot up from the pillow. I began shaking his shoulders again.

"Oh God, Okay – okay I’m up! Brendon, I'll get up!" Ryan said frantically as he scrambled out from under me. I sat there and laughed at him as he wrapped the blanket around his waist. He sat on the edge of the bed, rubbing the heel of his hand into his eyes. His hands dropped down and his head started tipping over as he slowly started drifting off again. I crawled over to him and tried pushing him off the bed. 

"No Ryan, get the fuck up and go get ready." I said sternly. Ryan groaned and finally stood up. He wiped his eyes again and just pouted at me. His hair was sticking up all over the place. Even though he currently looked like a mess, he was still adorable. I stood up and wrapped my arms around his neck and placed a small kiss on his forehead. He laid his head on my shoulder and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Now, go take a nice hot shower to wake yourself up and then get dressed; I want to be out of here as soon as possible."

"Don't you have to get ready too?" Ryan asked me sleepily.

"Well, who do you think is going to help you wake up in the shower?” Ryan’s head immediately shot up to see me smirking at him. He grinned and grabbed my arm and dragged me towards our bathroom.

.....

"Brendon, I want a milkshake." Ryan whined from the passenger seat. This is why we can’t take him anywhere. I rolled my eyes and drove to the nearest McDonald’s. He smiled and hopped out of the car, running around to the driver’s side to pull me out of my seat.

We ended up ordering food in addition to two vanilla milkshakes. If Ryan hadn’t of been so stubborn this morning and had gotten out of bed earlier we could have had breakfast. Instead we ended up with burgers and fries. 

I sat down in the booth next to the window. Ryan slid into the seat across from me. I took to a bite out of my burger and looked over at Ryan. He was sipping on his milkshake and glancing out at the empty play place. I cocked my eyebrow up at him. I guess he finally realized he was being stared at because he looked over at me. He smiled sheepishly as his cheeks flushed. 

"Aw Ryan, you want to go outside and play in the ball pit?" I teased, batting my eyelashes at him.

"Shut up ... do you think McDonald's will get mad?" I giggled. Ryan scrunched up his face and pouted.

"Ryan, I don't think McDonald's will let a grown man play in the ball pit. I’m pretty sure there’s an age limit." He continued to pout. I leaned over and pecked his lips. I smiled and stole a few of his fries. He tried swatting my hand away but it was no use. He balled up a napkin and threw it at me, hitting me square in the middle of my face.

"You keep that up and I'll punish you." Ryan eyes squinted and then he smirked.

"Oh, will you now?"

"Yes, and you don't want me punish you,” my voice dropped. I brought my hands up and propped my chin on my fists. 

"What if I do?" Ryan challenged me, mimicking my movements.

"Then you'll regret it." Ryan raised his eyebrow at me. I just smiled sweetly. He laughed it off and continued eating his burger.

"So, what all do we have to pick up anyways?" Ryan spoke up.

"Well, we need, flashlights, sleeping bags, and bug spray -" Ryan shuddered a little.

"What?"

"That’s the worst part about this whole ‘camping’ thing. Bugs, so gross,” he grimaced.

"Sweetie, do you need me to protect you from the big, bad bugs?” I picked at him. He just rolled his eyes and told me to shut up.

I scoffed. "Anyway, Jon and Spencer are picking up the food, cooking supplies, toiletries and a shit ton of other things. Oh, and we need to pick up the most important thing." I continued.

"What's that?" Ryan asked; his mouth full of food. I gave him a look that said, “Are you serious?”

"The tent,” I said slowly. “And we should definitely bring some pillows.”

Ryan blushed, “Oh, must have forgotten that part.”

I rolled my eyes at him. “Maybe that’s because you were still half asleep when we discussed it this morning.”

“Shh, don’t mock me. We have a tent to pick up.”

....

We walked into Wal-Mart and looked around. We had no idea where to start. My eyes scanned the area hoping to spot someone that worked there. My eyes finally landed on a guy wearing a blue vest, arraigning a magazine display.

"Excuse me?" I said as I approached him, Ryan trailing behind me.

"Hello, welcome to Wal-Mart, how can I help you guys today?" He straightened up the last row of magazines and rose up to look at us.

"Well, we’re going camping and we don’t have a fucking clue what we’re doing." I said. The guy chuckled and kindly led us towards the back where they kept all of the outdoors equipment. We thanked him and he told us to find him again if we needed anything. He turned to head back towards the front of the store. We went up and down the aisles, looking through the many displays. We began to go a little overboard, picking up things we knew for sure we needed and then a bunch of shit we didn’t, but it looked cool so we got it anyway. Finally, we made our way over to the tents. They had a few tents set up so you could get a full look at them, which I was eternally grateful for because the tiny pictures on the box don’t do them any justice.

"Brendon, I like this one." Ryan said as we approached a plain green tent. Plain, was definitely an understatement, this tent looked like something you could find at Toys R Us.

"Ry, that’s not going to fit four grown men, plus that doesn’t even have a front zip. It’s just completely open in the front.” I told him, waving part of the opening at him, emphasizing my point.

"So?”

"So, I don’t want to sleep with my feet hanging halfway out of the tent. Or, wake up with a tiny, furry creature clawing at my face.” I said like it was obvious. Well, because it was. 

“Hey, don’t talk about Jon like that, he’s not that furry.” He was joking but he still managed to have a completely serious face. I laughed and started towards him, grabbing his shoulders to give him a light shake. I began dragging out his name as I begged him to be serious for a minute. 

Ryan chuckled and promised to be serious, giving me his best scout’s impression to seal the deal. I tugged him over to the other displays. It was so boring; I don’t even know why the guys were so set on getting a tent. I tried for days to convince them to just book a cabin but Jon just kept going on about getting “an authentic camping experience.” Fuck an authentic camping experience, I wanted a bed and to not have to pee in a port a potty. Next time, I’m booking a cabin and Jon can become “one with nature” by himself. 

"Holy shit, Ryan come look at this one." I pointed at a huge tent near the very back. It was perfect. Spacious, front zip entrance – holy shit it was even insulated. 

"This is the one," I said, running my hand along the side of the tent. 

"It looks big enough, that’s for sure. There’s that zipper part you wanted.” He said, tugging on the zipper, opening the tent a little.

"Wanna get a better look?” I grinned. Ryan started grinning too and he continued to unzip the front entrance. We glanced back to make sure no one was watching and we slipped inside the tent. Ryan zipped it back up behind us. It was even better on the inside. It felt nice and cozy. I took a few steps further into the tent, exploring it even more. It had little compartments and accessories everywhere. To be honest, it looked a little complicated. 

“So…how are we supposed to you know, set this thing up?” Ryan asked like he was reading my mind. He was walking over to run his hand over the fabric and looking at me expectantly. I brought my hand up to my mouth to bite at my nails, looking everywhere but at Ryan. He eyed me suspiciously and crossed his arms. “Have you ever pitched a tent like… ever?” He questioned. I scoffed and tried to play it off. “Yeah, I can pitch a tent, God Ryan,” I said, still not meeting his eyes. He laughed and inched towards me. “Brendon Urie. Can’t even pitch a measly tent,” he teased, shaking his head.

"I know how to make you pitch a tent,” I said smugly. Ryan’s eyes doubled in size. He instantly recovered and continued to make his way towards me. He was donning a lazy smirk and his eyes grew dark. “Oh really” He teased, dragging a finger down my chest. I smirked and hooked my fingers through his belt loops and pulled him closer. He let out a surprised “oh” as our groins made contact. “Yes really,” my voice deepened. I gave him an innocent smile.

"Prove it-" My lips found Ryan's almost immediately. I brought my hands up to clasp his face, pressing my lips to his even harder. Ryan wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling my body flush against his. I sucked on his bottom lip, and then bit it softly. Ryan let out a low moan and held me even tighter. I slid one of my hands around to grab at his hair, immediately tangling my fingers in the brown curls. I tugged on it, Ryan hissed at the pain. I felt his fingers slide down my spine as he slid his hand down and then slipped it under my shirt. I sighed into his mouth as his hand ran up and down my back. I ground my hips into his, he quickly responded, mimicking my moves. My pants felt tighter than they already were as we continued grinding into each other. Ryan’s lips left mine and he kissed his way down the side of my face. He pressed his face into my neck, letting out light, breathy moans into my ear. His breath was warm, causing little shivers to run down my body. I slipped my thigh between his and pushed up against his hardening member. He pressed his face further into my neck and started rubbing himself on my thigh. Ryan was groaning into my neck, his hands on either side of my waist pulling me closer. Our cocks were smashed against each other, sparking much needed friction between us.

I moved my lips down to his neck and started sucking on his pulse. Ryan moved his head to the side, giving me more room. I bit down onto his neck, pulling at the skin and flicked my tongue over the spot. Ryan let out a throaty moan. I resumed sucking and nipping at his neck, watching the blood move to the surface. My hand slipped down and I pressed the heel of my hand into his dick. Ryan groaned and pressed against my hand, trying to relive some of the pressure. My hand curled around his length, slowly moving up and down. His breath hitching as he rocked his hips into my hand. I did this until he started making little “ah, ah, ah” sounds. He immediately protested as my hand left its spot to come up and unbuckle his belt and undo his pants. I looked up into his eyes, dark and full of lust. I bit my lip and smirked as I slowly pulled his pants down, underwear included, his cock immediately springing up and hit against his stomach. I kissed his lips again, licking into his mouth. Ryan cursed as I ran my fingernail up the underside of his length, which was already leaking pre-cum. He whimpered, trying to push himself into my hand. 

I smiled and pecked his lips once more before moving down his chest. I pulled his shirt up, kissing and biting my way down his stomach. I kissed the skin where his jeans had made little indentions from being too tight. Ryan huffed and placed his hand at the top of my head, signaling that he was growing a bit impatient. I let out a breathy laugh and bent down to suck the tip of his penis into my mouth. He threw his head back and said “oh fuck.” I fought the urge to smile and I brought a hand up to pump him as I sucked on the head. I felt his hands threading through my hair as I swirled my tongue around the tip and then I dug my tongue into his slit. Ryan’s breath increased and his hips twitched, trying to push into my mouth. I took the hint and moved my hand to his hip and took him deeper. I gripped his hips to keep him from trying to push any further. My throat relaxed, allowing me to take him deeper at my own pace. Ryan’s grip on my hair was so tight my head felt like it was on fire but I ignored it the best I could to focus on the task at hand. His moans became louder as his tip hit the back of my throat. I moved my hands around to knead his ass, my head bobbing up and down on his length. His cock was leaking pre-cum down my throat. 

I pulled away from him; bringing a hand up to pump him while I looked up at him. His eyes slowly drifted open and he looked down to see why I had pulled off. My lips were swollen and shiny. I teased his slit with my tongue again and licked down his length all the way to his balls. I sucked on them, my eyes never leaving his. His legs were trembling. I twisted my hand up and down, making sure to give a little extra squeeze at the head. I pulled away from his balls, a little trail of spit hanging from my mouth. Ryan’s eyes glazed over as he ran his hand down to caress my cheek, his fingers running over my lips.

“Fuck Brendon, I wish you could see yourself right now,” His voice was spent; he continued to rub the side of my face. I bent down to lick the underside of penis all the way to the tip, twirling my tongue around it a few times. His hips were pumping forward into my hand, desperately trying to get off. “Still, think I can’t pitch a tent?” My voice was scratchy as hell. His eyes fluttered and he let out a light laugh. “Fuck the tent. Just – fuck, please Brendon. I – I,” he bit his lip. He practically growled as I flattened my tongue and rubbed his dick against it. He tightened his grip on my hair and I stopped teasing and quickly took him into my mouth again. I heard him curse and he pushed into my mouth. I relaxed my throat and let him fuck my mouth. I felt his dick twitch in my mouth as he got closer. I pressed my face into his groin. I started constricting my throat muscles, working his dick to bring him over the edge. Ryan was making those “ah, ah, ah” noises again. “Ah – fuck. Brendon I’m close. God, I – I,” He didn’t even finish before I felt him spill down my throat. Ryan spewed out a string of obscenities as I slightly pulled up and hollowed my cheeks, trying to let him ride out his orgasm. I swallowed every drop before pulling away. Ryan was out of breath. He bent down and grabbed my arms and pulled me up to kiss me. I felt him lick into my mouth, no doubt tasting himself on my tongue. 

“Fuck, I can’t believe you just sucked me off in a tent. In the middle of a Wal-Mart,” he laughed. He placed his forehead against mine as we just smiled at each other. “Well then, you should learn to never question my tent pitching abilities.” I said, wrapping my arms around his neck, pulling him in for another kiss. We heard someone shaking the tent. Our eyes were wide; we heard a voice telling us to get out of the tent. Ryan and I were scrambling trying to pull his pants back up and straighten our clothes. I started laughing as Ryan almost fell over trying to desperately pull his skinny jeans back up. We ran our fingers through our hair in an attempt to get rid of our sex hair. Ryan followed behind me as I stepped forward to unzip the tent and climb out. The guy that helped us find the outdoors equipment was standing there, arms crossed and face flushed red. I bit my lip trying to keep myself from laughing. I heard Ryan snort and he moved trying to hide his face in my shoulder. The guy’s eyes were huge and his cheeks began to heat up even more.

"Uh, so,” He cleared his throat, trying to find the right words. “You – you guys definitely can’t do that here.” He struggled, his gaze switching between us and the floor. 

"We’re sorry. We just…really wanted to make sure this tent was the one for us.” I tried to sound as serious as I could, but I was failing miserably. “Could you ring us up?”

....

_A few weeks later._

"So wait, that's how you guys got banned from Wal-Mart?" Spencer questioned from his spot on the couch. His eyes were almost bulging out of his head.

"Oh yeah. They apparently even have our pictures up in the employee lounge." I told him, holding on to Ryan’s waist as he sat on my lap. Ryan giggled at the expression on Spencer’s face. I had never seen him look so amazed. Jon on the other hand looked like he was about to pass out.

"I can't believe you sucked off Ryan in a fucking Wal-Mart. In a tent – in the same tent that we slept in the next day,” he yelled. My head fell back as I laughed at him. 

I batted my eyelashes at him. “Aw I’m sorry, Jon. I mean, it’s not exactly like we could walk out of there and leave the tent behind. Apparently sucking someone off in a tent has the same store policy as “you break it, you buy it.” 

"Sorry doesn’t make up for the fact that I had to sleep in a tent that you two had sex in.” Jon huffed. Spencer raised his eyebrow and turned to face Jon. “Oh don’t act like that. If anything you should be used to it. It’s not like they haven’t hooking up on the same bus as us for years now.” Jon groaned and just hid his face in his hands. “Oh my God, why are y’all so fucking strange?”

I laughed and gripped Ryan’s hip. He looked down at me, his cheeks were slightly red. I rubbed my head against his chest and turned to face the guys again. “We just can’t help ourselves.”

**Author's Note:**

> Another recovered fic from my Mibba. Editing this scene was a bit awkward (especially when I think about tiny, teenage me writing this so long ago). Hope this was enjoyable. Thanks for reading!


End file.
